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Even the best-laid plans...
Someone once said "failing to prepare (plan) is preparing (planning) to fail". I'm a deliberative character. Someone who enjoys spontaneity & moments of "what the fuck" to be sure. But when it comes to the big things (job, living sitch/place of residence, relationships, etc.) I try to plan things well or think things thru enough to ensure the best chance(s) of success. I can't really answer the question "where do you see yourself in five years?", but I try to plan for my future in general. After all, if you don't know where you wanna go, how ya gonna get there or know when you get there?
But damn, no matter how much you plan, prepare, scheme, and try to position yourself, even the most well thought-out plans fall thru. You bust your ass, plan for any/all contingencies, do your best to mitigate risk, and KA-POW! Shit blows up right in your face. It's happened to me waaayyyy too many times lately for my own liking, more than I care to count. And when it happens, I find myself shell-shocked, in something of a free fall. So now it's time to gather my wits about me, right the ship mentally, and figure out a new way to achieve end-game. Easier said than done. Timing is everything, but the timing of this latest blow sure sucks.
Post-Christmas lull
I'm happy to say I surviveded X-mas & actually had a great time visiting my fam in Cleveland. The temperature was not nearly as bad as it coulda been, though I did have a brief taste of The Cold, and a reacquaintance w/"wind chill". A bit of snow fell but not enough to cause travel hassle (thank god). I went out drinking w/my cousin for the first time ever, and had a blast. We even met a C (or maybe D?) list celeb: Isaac from MTV's The Real World: Australia. He's from Cleveland (actually Shaker Heights I think), and showed up at the bar we were at. He's a nice guy, talked for a while, tipped a drink, and took more than a few pics w/our crew. Will post 'em once my cuz e-mails the pics to me. Now it's the brief time-out before New Year's, which will be less-than-breathtaking here. Might hit a party or 2 but nothing nuts. Dealing w/DUI is not on the agenda for 2K8. "Not gonna happen, not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent, not at this junc-ture." Anyone else remember the Dana Carvey-does-George HW Bush skits from SNL?
2K8
So, usually when approaching the wrap of one year & the inception of the next I have some ideas of what I wanna do, accomplish, gain, whatever. But the first paragraph of this blog entry has made me wonder if I'm wasting my damn time on plans for next year. WTFK (who the fuck knows), I'll deal w/it later. I'm too travel-weary and, well, somewhat stunned to deal w/next year now. I've been lucky enough in life that I usually land on my feet (but not w/out doing a few flips, half-twists, and maybe hitting a branch or two, bouncing off a few rocks on the way down). So I'm pretty sure everything will work out a'ight, but still, I just don't need this now. Just when things seemed to be looking up...
Nice guys...
Another old saying "nice guys finish last". I've been a nice guy pretty much all my life. I'm not perfect. I have a temper & can fly off the handle when provoked. I can be moody, and have said things that hurt feelings, though very rarely intentionally. I'm one impatient fucker too. But by & large I'm one of the "nice guys". That's a product of the way I was raised & who I am. A combo of nature & nurture. But I've gotten fucked enough, walked on, played out that sometimes I can't help but wonder where being a 'nice guy' has gotten me. Maybe being a little more hardass would get me farther, or at least provide more protection. Maybe a bit less sensitivity, malleability, generosity, openess would do me some good. It goes against my nature, goes against my instinct, but it's kinda "survival of the fittest" ya know? If I employed the "do unto others as they've done unto you", things'd get ugly, dig? Guess I try to take the high road tho & strive for the eagle side of my Scorpio birthright instead of the gray lizard or scorpion. But it ain't easy. And it makes me wonder where (and what) it's gotten me. It makes me reevaluate my strategy, tactics, and overall approach to life. It you don't like losing change the way you play the game right?
Well, I'm outtie. Tired, baffled, gotta go w/Plan B & get ready to fight back against the powers of evil. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and has a happy, safe, unsober New Year. "Drive really fast with your eyes closed!!!" (from Alpha Dog). Lates...
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